If we were meeting at our favorite coffee spot again today, settling into our regular seats, I’d probably smile and ask… ‘So, how’s the sibling peace treaty holding up?’”.
Because sibling fights are… a lot.
The screaming.
The grabbing.
The “He touched me!”
The “She BREATHED on me!”
Meanwhile you’re just trying to make dinner.
One of my parents at school said, “My kids fight more than everyone else’s”. I will share with you what I told her and, please hear this clearly:
Your home is normal.
Your kids are normal.
And YOU are not failing.
Sibling rivalry isn’t about rivalry.
It’s about emotional regulation, communication, and overwhelm.
And we can actually make it easier.
🔥 Why Sibling Fights Are So Intense
Kids fight hardest with the people they feel safest with —just like they melt down with you after school.
Why?
Because siblings are the closest, most constant emotional mirrors they have.
Kids fight because:
- They’re overstimulated
- They’re craving connection
- They want fairness but don’t have the words
- They’re practicing power
- They’re expressing jealousy, fear, or frustration
- Their nervous systems collide
It’s not disrespect.
It’s not defiance.
It’s not a sign of bad parenting.
It’s development.
🌿 What You Can Do in the Heat of the Moment
No long lectures.
No detective work.
And definitely no expecting them to apologize while they’re still on fire.
1. Separate first, teach later
“Everyone takes a breath. Let’s take space for a minute.”
Calm comes before communication.
2. Narrate the moment
“You both wanted the same toy. That’s really hard.”
This lowers shame and increases understanding.
3. Give each child something grounding
A fidget.
A Calm band.
A soft sensory tool.
It helps their bodies settle so their words can return.
4. When calm, teach a script
“I’m not done with that.”
“Can I have a turn when you’re finished?”
“I need space.”
Emotional literacy grows in small rehearsals.
5. Praise repair, not perfection
“That was kind of you to check on your brother.”
“It looked like you tried something different that time.”
Kids need to feel seen for the TRY.
💛 The Goal Isn’t to End the Fighting… It’s to Build Skills
Fighting is normal.
Repair is the goal.
Emotional safety is the goal.
Connection is the goal.
And this part always makes parents cry a little:
Siblings who learn emotional repair become adults who can repair in relationships.
You’re shaping that every day without even realizing it.
🌈 How MOODLES Supports Siblings
Sometimes both kids need help naming a feeling —
and neither wants to talk yet.
Wristbands become their words.
A Calm band for one.
An Angry or Frustrated band for the other.
Suddenly the room feels less explosive.
Less personal.
More manageable.
MOODLES gives them a way to show their feelings without blaming each other.
🤍 If Your Kids Fight, You’re Doing Nothing Wrong
Your home is a place where emotions happen.
That’s a GOOD thing.
Messy, yes — but good.
You’re raising humans who feel.
And humans who feel deeply also love deeply.
Stay steady.
You’re doing beautifully.